Published in Curious·PinnedMember-onlyHow to Be SurprisedStay open to the wonders of the world — According to George Saunders, a work of art “has to surprise its audience, which it can do only if it has legitimately surprised its creator.” When I read that, I realized I’m not creating art. Not by a long shot. I spend heaps of time bound up, worried, self-flagellating, fighting…Magic7 min read
5 days agoMember-onlyI love the old men.So what of it? — When I was 19, I fell in love with a man 31 years my senior. And he loved me back. We lived together for two-and-a-half years and stayed close until his death at 83 last year. I left him because I wanted to have children some day. Also because in…Love3 min read
5 days agoMember-onlyLove who you love, and don’t let no one tell you otherwise(It’s no one’s business anyway) — It’s the mystery of love, isn’t it? We don’t love who we “should.” We love who we love, the people who touch us. And there’s no rhyme or reason to that, I assure you. When I was 19, a man named Mac McKinney used to come into Gallagher’s Bar and…Love3 min read
5 days agoMember-onlyStop taking the people you love for grantedTime passes quickly. Make sure your peeps know how you feel about them. — It keeps happening. I keep losing the people I love long before I’m ready. As if we’re ever ready. How do I stop taking the people I love for granted? Yesterday, I attended a concert in Napa with a dear friend. We met at his place and set out for…Love3 min read
Sep 22Member-onlyThe Joy of DanceI might as well have titled this The Joy of Sex — Because, you see, in my case, it’s Argentine tango I’m talking about, and it’s joyous indeed, and it’s sexy as hell. But what’s making me really happy about returning to dance is simply touch. I hate to admit it. It feels a little pathetic to share that tango is now…Menopause4 min read
Sep 21Member-onlyFor the love of a sheet panWhen the prospect of dinner terrifies you, reach for your trusty metal baking tray and relax. My friend Jane asked me for a cooking lesson. She’s one of those people who feel about cooking as I do about taxes. In other words, dreadful. As in full of dread — a fear and loathing verging on panic. A fear and loathing sufficient to blot out the mind. …Cooking5 min read
Jun 8Member-onlyHappyHow George Saunders calmed me down — I wrote a short story this afternoon, for a new writing group I’ve joined, and I think I like it. And that’s saying a lot. I don’t know if I’ve ever liked a short story I’ve written. Oh, there have been parts. A sentence, a description, a turn of phrase…Writing4 min read
Jun 1Member-onlyIl Sorpasso and Beemster CheeseOn a late spring evening in Oakland, CA — I’m attacking this Beemster cheese with these water crackers that must be used before they go stale, alas. That is my excuse for continuing to deliver these morsels to my open mouth like an automaton. Can’t let the crackers go stale, can we now? It doesn’t hurt that this Il…Cocktail2 min read
May 31Member-onlyMy first gorditaLife in California: Birdsong, flea markets, melty cheese, and chile — My neighbor Claudia says that every spring, the blue jays and the mockingbirds duke it out. They can’t both occupy the same slice of neighborhood, so some summers we have blue jays and some, mockingbirds. This year, the mockingbirds won, and I know that well because one in particular likes…Mexican Food4 min read
Apr 14Member-onlyConsuming vs. ProducingIf you’re an artist, focus on the latter — I’ve been gorging myself on content. It’s easy to do. How many times have we heard we need to read if we want to be writers? Am I right? But, it’s also lazy. It’s certainly easier to read another book review or New Yorker short story than it is to…Writing4 min read
