1 day agoMember-onlyBoys and men saved my lifeBut how can I see them as more than panaceas? — I have a complicated relationship with men. I love, respect, and even revere them, and yet — disdain them. At the surface level, I just love men. I love their look, smell, and feel. I love their swagger, and the glint in the eye. I love catching their attention. I…Love13 min readLove13 min read
2 days agoMember-onlyWhy aren’t you dating?A redux — I’ve tried to write about why I’m not dating before, and I think I’ve failed. I wasn’t honest. I didn’t go deep enough. There are many reasons I’m not dating even though I want to. Some are surface-level, some are deep. Some are logistical, some are age-related (I suppose..?). All…Relationships9 min readRelationships9 min read
Mar 16Member-onlyBill was my friendAnd I forsook him — I had a problematic friend. Do we all have a friend or two like this? What I mean by that is, well, he was inappropriate. Often. He could be creepy, at least for the uninitiated. He loved women and had a strong libido — and boundary issues. But he never…Regret4 min readRegret4 min read
Feb 22Member-onlyMy cloak of invisibilityAnd what it affords me — I moved into my son’s apartment about a month ago. It’s located in a part of Oakland I avoided my entire life, a part that’s being revitalized after decades of ruinous crime. Actually, this particular area of Oakland — Tuxedo, near Highland Terrace — is well on its way to…Oakland6 min readOakland6 min read
Feb 12Member-onlyA gift from a strangerOn noticing the sign posts in our path — I went to a new (for me) hairdresser yesterday to get my hair cut. I was annoyed because I’m saving money hard and had decided to just ignore my hair for the time being. But, I’m going to Los Angeles on Tuesday to deliver a car to my daughter, and…Healing6 min readHealing6 min read
Jan 31Member-onlyGo out into the world in peaceA benediction — Go out into the world in peace. Have courage. Hold on to what is good. Return no one evil for evil. Strengthen the fainthearted, support the weak, and help the suffering. Honor all people. Love and serve God, rejoicing in the power of the Holy Spirit. …Benediction5 min readBenediction5 min read
Jan 30Member-onlyLet’s be honestI’ve had enough fine dining to last me a lifetime. — Something interesting has happened to me. After years of trying to be on a budget, trying to be more moderate, trying to curb my desires and greed and envy, trying to cultivate gratitude, trying to avoid the siren call of pretty clothes and nice food and good wine… I have…Food5 min readFood5 min read
Jan 29Member-onlyBakery boxI have a bakery box in the kitchen with the weirdest cake it it. It actually has meat shavings on it! It’s called rousong, and it’s not shavings, but “floss” (I know, this is sounding worse by the minute). One article I skimmed said it wasn’t too different from cotton…Travel4 min readTravel4 min read
Jan 27Member-onlyWaiting to feel betterOn convalescing, making beans, roasting chicken, watching movies — My ears are ringing. It’s unpleasant. Other than that, the house and the neighborhood are quiet. The occasional truck roars by on Highway 13, a couple of blocks up the hill. I visited the dentist today. He was unable to tell me why a section of the gum below one…Sick4 min readSick4 min read
Jan 22Member-onlyAm I a hoarder?A meditation on the question — I have two bowls of Meyer lemons on the dining room table at which I type. An iron candelabra. A little dish of crunchy salt. A jar of spiced cashews. A box of matches. A Safeway receipt. A dish towel, a cloth napkin, and a washcloth. A bottle of Tylenol…Hoarding6 min readHoarding6 min read
