Published inFourth Wave·5 days agoMember-onlyTo Be a Woman of 55, Foregoing the Dream, AgainBut it’s okay, I tell you. — Because that’s what we do, isn’t it? We sacrifice for those we love. This isn’t the exclusive domain of women, of course. Men do it too, all the time. They put their careers first, not because they don’t want to change diapers, but because they want to be able to…Mothering5 min readMothering5 min read
Nov 16Member-onlyUnmooredOn purpose? — I’m the very definition of unmoored now. I willingly left my home of 26 years to move to a flat closer to downtown Oakland. As of Monday, two days ago, I am also without a job. I am “free.” But “free” isn’t really so when you need income. Freedom is…Mid Life4 min readMid Life4 min read
Nov 14Member-onlyWhat are you going to do for YOU?I have less than two weeks to answer this question — My friend’s mother asked me this over dinner when I again got weepy about my daughter and my hurt feelings because she doesn’t want to come home anymore. She’s launched herself with velocity out of the nest and is happily ensconced in another nest with her lover. She says she…Parenting3 min readParenting3 min read
Oct 25Member-onlyMy new gardenBattling demons and self-doubt as I forge ahead semi-blindly — I moved recently. In fact, as of today, I’ve been quartered in my new abode for merely a week. And I’m assailed by waves of emotion. Fear, doubt — terror, even. Regret, fear of regret, confusion… and moments of grace. I have a serious problem with decisions. They’re terribly difficult…Gardening5 min readGardening5 min read
Oct 17Member-onlyMy Fantasy Herb GardenAnd why it’s so important — Sometimes you read that to be a good writer, you should “write what you want to read.” What I want to read is, how to create a magical, ethereal herb garden, and why we should. I can’t write that however, because I don’t know the answers to those questions. I…Herb Garden4 min readHerb Garden4 min read
Oct 4Member-onlySome dark cafeRequiem for the cafes of yore — Listening to Joni Mitchell’s iconic song The Last Time I Saw Richard, I was struck by the references to “dark cafes.” I was struck because in my part of the world, which is the San Francisco Bay Area (the East Bay, or Oakland, to be precise), the dark cafes have…Cafes4 min readCafes4 min read
Oct 3Eating pappardelle one ribbon at a timeAnd other pleasures of the table — (Alternate title: “Heaven is ribbons and ribbons of pappardelle”) You can tell I’m hungry. Like, really hungry. Perpetually hungry. I’m not doing anything wrong, mind you. Don’t go worrying about me. It’s just that I’m still pantry-eating. And it’s funny — I said in my last essay that it’s fun…Cooking6 min readCooking6 min read
Sep 29Member-onlyCreature ComfortsSelf-soothing in the face of life’s vicissitudes — My dear dog Daisy is tending to herself. She’s using her paw to delicately scratch her ear, groaning softly in relief as she does so. She’s turning onto her back and rocking from side to side on the bright Persian-style carpet beneath my dining table. And now, she’s placed her…Death5 min readDeath5 min read
Sep 29Member-onlyBlood at the boneA view of my dinner — This post, most assuredly, will not be about dinner. Or, not only about dinner, let’s say. For, how can one write only about food without being stultifying. Food — the making of it, the enjoying of it — is always about so much more. Right now, the bone of the…Food5 min readFood5 min read
Aug 28Member-onlyHouse and GardenField and stream — Number one on my to-do list today is “See CA Buckeyes in Piedmont.” That’s because I’m considering putting a native California buckeye in the “well” in front of the new home I’m moving to in the next month or so. Yes, big changes are afoot. I’m scared. Panicked some days…Gardening5 min readGardening5 min read
